Oh dear. I don’t know what to do so I do nothing. I have been a well-intentioned busybody in my younger years and have been burned so now, I keep my mouth shut. But I think that there is spousal abuse going on upstairs. No hitting, as far as I can tell. But the screaming and shouting and the language and the awfulness of the things that are said…
We often hear the pitter patter of the little daughters feet as she plays but, when the screaming starts, you hear them patter away and then nothing more of them. She must be hiding somewhere. From the screaming.
The thing is, it’s the mother screaming at the father. All the time. And at the little girl too.
In the last month we’ve heard snatches of conversation…
“What?! You think I don’t like to fuck??!! You wanna stick it in my ass??!!”
“That’s right (sarcastically) I hate my daughter!! I can’t stand my own daughter!! I’m a horrible mother!!”
“I can’t stop screaming! I can’t stop screaming! I can’t stop screaming at her!! If you want me to stop screaming I need the medication!!! I don’t wanna hear that we can’t afford it!!”
“I could have had ANYBODY!! I could have been with ANYBODY!! I didn’t have to be stuck here with this friggin’ baby!! I’m going to KILL you!!!”
We’ve also heard clapping. Clapping, clapping, clapping before we finally hear him say, “STOP that! You KNOW I hate it when you clap in my face.”
We’ve heard him trying to talk her down. “I know your dad hit your mom but, sooner or later honey, you have to let it go. You have to get over it.”
He leaves the house a lot.
She says she has fibromyalgia. I think that means constant pain, which must be exhausting on a deep soul level. She sends her daughter to daycare every day. I don’t know how he, on a single income, pays the rent and for daycare as well. She may be tired but, when his car pulls in the driveway, we hear her leap to her feet. She’s ready for him the minute he crosses the threshold. Imagine? No place of sanctuary in the world. Your own home, a warzone.
Face to face, she is nice as pie. She can’t weigh even 105 lbs. She’s a little woman. But what a voice on her!
If the situation were in reverse, and I heard a man treating a woman this way, I would struggle to refrain from offering her help or support. I’ve said to my partner, “I just want to get him alone in the driveway at some point and tell him that, if ever he ends up in court (divorce court or otherwise) that I will testify regarding her behaviour.”
“Stay out of it,” he advises.
Don’t get me wrong. The injured party is not perfect either. But the way she speaks to him? I wouldn’t speak to a dog like that. I wouldn’t speak to anybody like that. Ever.
What a world. So many men are being abused and can say nothing.
(Okay I just read the Wiki page about fibromyalgia and now I just feel sorry for the whole family – I am so blessed. I wonder what I can do to help them?)